'Pot pie fill you up!' Uptown Funk, Amish style
Saturday, April 4, 2015 at 1:24PM
Gale Martin / @Gale_Martin in PA Dutch, Uptown Funk parody, humor, parody

Last fall, Bruno Mars hit the "Dancing with the Stars" stage donning a head full of hair curlers to sing what would become my favorite dance anthem since "Thriller" called "Uptown Funk." 

Watching the video is even more fun than listening to the song itself.

Apparently, lots of others thought so too, which led to Dark Lord Funk You Up (Harry Potter video parody) and the ingenious Uptown Passover video by the a capella singing group Six13. 

I, too, have been known to make light of my own heritage, specifically my father's PA Dutch gene pool. Grace personified, let me tell you.

So, here are the lyrics for my parody of "Uptown Funk" based on my rich and deeply impactful cultural experience living in PA Dutch Country.
 

Chicken pot pie, Amish style. Photo credit by Bob Gowtowski, Flickr, Creative CommonsPot Pie Fill you Up (or Uptown Funk Amish style)

ACH! 

This song’s about Plain cooks
With Plain looks, they’re no yuppies
This one's for those hausfraus
Who milk cows, and drive buggies.

Buyin’, fryin’, lard up in a skillet
Cooks canned ham in iron pans
For breakfast, she serves millet.

Too hot (hot pan)
Grab the hotpad outta the cupboard, Anne
Too hot (hot pan)
Go fetch the fire company, Dan
Too hot (hot pan)
Say Donnerwetter but don’t say d*mn
Too hot (hot pan)
Keeps bees to make her own honey. Ach, du lieber!      

Fried scrapple hallelujah (whoo)
Pepper cabbage hallelujah (whoo)
Bacon gravy hallelujah (whoo)
‘Cause Amish cooks gon’ give it to you
‘Cause Amish cooks gon’ give it to you
‘Cause Amish cooks gon’ give it to you
It’s real pot pie and we don't use crust.

Don't believe me kumm eat
Don't believe me kumm eat
Don't believe me kumm eat
It’s real pot pie and we don't use crust.
Eens, zvee, drei, vier

Halt. Vait vonct!peanut butter schmear
Fill my cup, put some Schenk’s cheese in it
Amos, hitch the mare!
If we make pies, we’re gonna draw flies
Faster than peanut butter schmear

Too hot (hot pan)
Grab the hotpad outta the cupboard, Anne
Too hot (hot pan)
Go fetch the fire company, Dan
Too hot (hot pan)
Betsy, say Donnerwetter but don’t say d*mn
Too hot (hot pan)
Keeps bees to make her own honey. Ach, du lieber!

Schnitz hits you hallelujah (whoo)
Potato filling hallelujah
Red beet eggs hallelujah

‘Cause Amish cooks gon’ give it to you
‘Cause Amish cooks gon’ give it to you
‘Cause Amish cooks gon’ give it to you
It’s real pot pie and we don't use crust.
Don't believe me kumm eat

Don't believe me kumm eat
Don't believe me kumm eat
Fimf, sex, siwwe, acht 

. . . Before we boil this chicken
Let me roll out some dough

Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Froogewadde, pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Nein, zehe, elf, zwelf

Take white flour, don’t sift it
Roll the dough out like a big biscuit
Grab a butter knife and cut noodles
Slow cook the whole kit-and-caboodle

It’s real pot pie and we don't use crust
Ains, zvee, drei, vier
Fimf, sex, siwwe, acht
Nein, zehe, elf, zwelf

Eens, zvee, drei, vier
Fimf, sex, siwwe, acht
Nein, zehe, elf, zwelf
Dreizeh, vatzeh, fuffzeh, sechzeh

Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up (Froogewadde)
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up (Froogewadde)
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up
Pot pie fill you up (Froogewadde)

ACH!

(Coming soon, to a theater near you: The Pot Pie Fill You Up music video!)

 

 

Article originally appeared on Gale Martin | Clever Fiction for Clever Readers (http://galemartin.me/).
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